If He Could Grow a Uterus for a Day

Finding compassion, laughter, and connection through the pain of miscarriage.

Miscarriages are hard in so many ways for the woman. The sudden loss of life we feel. The grief we carry not just in our hearts, but in our entire being. Then there are the hormones — the invisible waves that make us feel like we’re dying on the inside.

But what about the men, or the partners in our lives? They also feel. They also grieve. They also lose something. They may not feel the physical pain or experience the wild emotional rollercoaster of hormonal chaos — but they still feel.

And maybe even worse, they’re forced to watch us struggle — without any idea why we react the way we do or what’s happening inside our bodies.

Maybe we could trade for a day — they could grow a uterus, and we could grow a pair — just to understand each other better!
We all know that’s not how it works... but wouldn’t that be nice?
Communication would be so much easier!

The truth is, both sides get lost in a miscarriage.
The woman is lost in her pain, unable to find words for what’s happening.
The man is lost in confusion, unable to imagine what she’s going through, desperate to fix a problem that can’t be fixed.

And that’s where things usually go wrong — because there’s nothing to fix.

So how do we explain what it feels like?
What words make it click in their heads?
Who helps them understand how to support us?

There aren’t many answers out there. And that’s where we often drop our heads in defeat.

I didn’t.

I told my husband what I was feeling — even when I didn’t understand it myself. Saying “I’m confused” was sometimes the only accurate description I had.
When I finally found the right word for it days or weeks later, I told him again. “Remember when I said I was confused? I figured it out.”

It sounds simple, but those conversations gave him a window into what I was going through. He’ll never fully understand — he’s not a woman — and that’s okay. But he listens.

With that in mind, I wrote my second book:
Lucky the BYRD: Standing By Her Side Through a Miscarriage.

I searched everywhere for something to help him understand — a quick read written for the partner — but I couldn’t find one. So I started writing.

I wrote from his perspective — remembering every moment of our journey, how we bonded through the trauma, and how I watched him navigate his own grief even while holding mine.

When I finished the draft, I asked him to read it. “Tell me what doesn’t feel right. What’s missing. What’s off.”
He read it cover to cover — it’s only about 50 pages, shorter without the illustrations — and told me I was 100% on point.

A few edits were just my preferences, not his.

I laughed and said, “I’m the best wife ever for understanding you so well! I deserve a trophy — I’m a trophy wife!” 😂

This book, written in his perspective, gives the reader insight into what a partner’s role can be — and how to show up with quiet strength when words aren’t enough.
It’s the communication without communication.

A guide to support in silence.
A way for him to be present — while letting her grieve in the way her body needs her to.