The Lessons We Hide — and Why Our Kids Need Them

Breaking generational silence by turning our pain into guidance.

We all know what it looks like to survive.
We’ve lived through things we never want our kids to face. And because of that, we promise ourselves: “I will never let anything bad happen to them.”
Especially the things that happened to us.

But here’s an opinion that might feel uncomfortable:

What if talking to our kids about what happened to us is more protective than hiding it?

When we silence our traumas and hope our kids never get close to them, a few things happen:

We don’t fully acknowledge what we survived.
We hide parts of ourselves that shaped us.
We forget that our stories carry wisdom, not shame.

Yes — painful things happened.
But imagine the bond you could build by sharing a vulnerable piece of yourself when they’re old enough to understand. They might not “get it” right away… but they will remember that you trusted them with the truth.

And one day, if something happens to them — or to a friend — they’ll know what to do.
Not because you scared them.
But because you prepared them.

Normalizing taboo subjects within a family is like handing them a toolbox.

If illness runs in the family, knowledge prepares them.
If assault happens and you’ve shared your own story, they will know they can come to you — because they know you truly understand.
If heartbreak, grief, or loss knocks on their door, they won’t feel alone.

Being open doesn’t curse them.
Being silent doesn’t protect them.

But honesty?
Honesty builds a bridge they can walk across when life gets hard.